Did I Jinix myself? or my baby rather?

Yes we know what causes it, Yes we planed it, Yes we are excited as are all the kids!! And Yes this is one of the reason's I have been so far behind blogging lately I am EXHAUSTED!! We are praying that all goes well and I have to tell you that I have been really naive the last 5 pregnancies and it is catching up with me this time as I am really nervous about something being wrong... We are due in July and are 9 weeks along....

my post from the Pregnancy Announcement back in Dec.

Worry

I am that mother that worries about everything, i worry that the cough is pneumonia, the headache a brain tumor, the leg pain leukemia, if they don't ride in their carseat they will be thrown from the car in a accident, i worry about silly things too like the food i feed them isn't healthy enough even though i grew up eating it, the little issue they have in school like getting in trouble for talking to loud at lunch means I have raised them wrong.. I worry worry worry that is just me I have been like this my whole life just ask my mom only now with kids of my own it has gotten alot worse just ask my husband. But living with a baby with a heart defect takes it to a whole new level. I watch him breath and check on him every min. to make sure he doesn't look blue, i am constantly asking Clint if he thinks he looks blue or if his breathing is to fast, I have refreshed my CPR and made Clint refresh his, I don't want to leave him with anyone even Clint. Everyday I fear the day of surgery, I cry to think of what that will be like for him, the pain he will be in, and I blame myself for this. No matter how many dr.'s tell me it wasn't my fault it was just something that happened nothing I did it doesn't matter I still blame myself. Then I start to feel even more guilty for giving Maccoy so much attention and less to Cayne and the other kids. They all need me and I want to be there for them.... Up to this point in my life as a mommy I have thought of myself as doing a pretty good job at dividing my time between everyone but now it just feels impossible. I want to stay strong and positive that my baby is going to be fine but "information" makes that hard, the facts,the statistics, the stories you read and hear about of kids with CHD. How do we make it to surgery day, how do I drive my little baby to the hospital knowing what is about to happen? These are things I think about every minute of everyday and when I try to put it out of my mind that makes me feel guilty? I feel like I am on this huge roller coaster ride of emotions and I just want it to be over and I want to get off of this roller coaster ride with my 7 healthy kids and wonderful husband and go back to life and all the little worries that I had before the ones that looking back at now seem so silly......................

Here Goes....

Lots of you know that Maccoy was in the NICU after birth due to an apnea (quit breathing) spell that he had around 5p.m. on sat. July 4th about 3.5 hours after birth. It is normal for them to keep babies that have an apnea episode in the NICU for 5 to 7 days to make sure they don't have a another and to find the cause such as infection or a brain bleed. Fortunately for Maccoy all of his tests came back fine so there wasn't a cause it was just a innocent episode. While he was in the NICU he was found to have a heart murmr and since it was really loud they decided to have him evaluated by a Pediatric Cardiologist on Sunday the 5th. That day will forever be etched in my head as the day my heartbroke. The cardiologist came in to explain to us that our 1 day old sweet baby has a Congenital Heart Defect called Tetralogy of Fallot that will require him to have open heart surgery to repair it. We have since been on to Children's Mercy for a 2nd opinion and will stick with the Dr. there. We have been told that Maccoy has a "Moderate" case.. We hope to make it to at least 6 months before the repair. The bigger he is the better the surgery. It will be a long surgery approx. 6 to 8 hours and will require the use of bypass and a stay in the ICU. Clint and I are scared to think of that day but also anxious to get it here and behind us and have our little guys heart fixed. He is currently on a oxcimeter which tells us his O2 Saturation level (oxygen in his blood) he sits between 95 and 100 % which is normal/great and when this number starts to go down and gets in the 80s we will know it is almost time for his surgery. We also have been watching his weight gain very close because babies with TET don't grow as well. He is a very tired little guy it takes him awhile to eat and crying episodes wear him out easily. Other than his heart he is a healthy SWEET baby.

Here is a quick overview of what TET is....

What It Is (From the American Heart Association)

Tetralogy of Fallot has four key features. A ventricular septal defect (a hole between the ventricles) and many levels of obstruction from the right ventricle to the lungs (pulmonary stenosis) are the most important. Also, the aorta (major artery from the heart to the body) lies directly over the ventricular septal defect, and the right ventricle develops thickened muscle.

Because the aorta overrides the ventricular defect and there's pulmonary stenosis, blood from both ventricles (oxygen-rich and oxygen-poor) is pumped into the body. Sometimes the pulmonary valve is completely obstructed (pulmonary atresia). Infants and young children with unrepaired tetralogy of Fallot are often blue (cyanotic). The reason is that some oxygen-poor blood is pumped to the body.

For everyone that lives close to us and hangs out with us this is for you... PLEASE for Maccoys sake if you have been sick in the last 10 to 14 days or think you maybe coming down with something PLEASE STAY AWAY!!! We would love to see you as long as you haven't been or aren't ill!!!

So no Fever,Diarrhea,Vomiting, Cough,Runny Nose, etc....

We must Practice Excellent Handwashing!! Things like RSV or the Stomach Flu could land Maccoy in the hospital on a ventilator fighting for his life so please understand we aren't trying to be rude we are a just looking out for our Sweet Baby.

If you want to do something for Maccoy you can PRAY FOR HIM!!! If you have questions please feel free to ask!!

More Pictures of the Babies!!

Firecracker Babies!!!

Babies in their 4th of July outfits!! Thanks Jennifer Cute Idea!!

Made it!!

We made it home on Thurs. around 1:30p.m. and it was so great to be here!! With Maccoy in the NICU we sent the other kids to stay with Grandma and Grandpa until we got home. So it was just Clint, I and the babies for the first couple of days home which was nice considering they don't really sleep that great at night! The kids had a wonderful time in C-town with Grandma, Grandpa M and Grandma and Grandpa G and with their Aunt and Uncle and cousins!! At least 2 of them didn't want to come home but Mom and Dad were missing all of them terribly!! So it is time to settle into a life of a family of 9! Holy Crap! Busy Busy Busy is all I can say!! Thank goodness Clint is home for the next few weeks and I will probably go into Shock when he goes back to work ( I don't even want to think about it).. Anyway just a quick update!!

They are Here

Born July 4th 2009
Cayne Truitt weighing in at 6lbs20z born at 12:34p.m
Maccoy Truston weighing in at 5lbs110z born at 1:07p.m.

Cayne is doing great, Maccoy is doing okay also he is having a bit of a bumpy start but hopefully he will be joining all of his brothers and sister at home by the end of the week! Please keep him in your prayers!!

We look forward to sharing their birth story but right now we are way tired and concentrating on getting Maccoy home!!

Clint and Melissa