Tuesday, February 24, 2009

For all my friends who are Moms.. I thought of You

The Invisible Mother
by: Unknown Author

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response,the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone andask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm onthe phone?' Obviously, not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking,or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because noone can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Canyou tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm noteven a human being. I'm a Clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satelliteguide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.' I was certain thatthese were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied historyand the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they have disappearedinto the peanut butter, never to be seen again..She's going; she's going;she is gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of afriend from England... Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on andon about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not tocompare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, whenJanice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I broughtyou this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read herinscription: 'To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what youare building when no one sees.' In the days ahead I would read - no, devour the book. And I would discover,what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I couldpattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have norecord of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never seefinished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of Godsaw everything. A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who cameto visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workmancarving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carvingthat bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.' Iclosed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you'vebaked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it willbecome.' At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is nota disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my ownself-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the rightperspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people whoshow up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on somethingthat their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as tosay that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there areso few people willing to sacrifice to that degree. When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he'sbringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in themorning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. Andthen, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'you're goingto love it there.' As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannotbe seen if we're doing it right.And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only atwhat we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women. Hope this encourages you when the going gets tough as it sometimes does.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Dr. Appt

Well I had my first visit with the high risk dr.(perinatologist) today and my level 2 growth sono.. All went well. The babies looked good they were measuring right on 16wks 7days and each weighed 7ounces they are both breech as well! All their organs were formed both hearts beating strong, brains look good, both have 2 kidneys, a bladder, and a diaphragm! They are not 100% sure that they are fraternal it is kinda of a long explanation but there is a chance they are identical we maybe able to tell better at future sonograms otherwise we will have to wait until they are born. Obviously if we were caring a boy and a girl this wouldn't be an issue,but since Clint and I don't want to know what they are we will just have to wait and see what happens! As long as they are both healthy it doesn't matter what they are!! Although I am thinking being a mom of 6 boys maybe a little much (i.e. the food and laundry from all the sport YIKES) but two more girls means a lot more drama, make up, boyfriends and as Clint would say 2 more weddings to pay for!! We are just happy that they look good right now! We will see the high risk Dr. again in 4 weeks! That's all for today!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

I don't remember the last time...

Friends of Clint and I's have offered us an amazing kind wonderful thing.... They are babysitting tonight!!! The best part is not to have to worry because my kids LOVE Jon and Sara and they are great with the kids so it will be a night out with Clint without worry!!! When they asked if they could do this of course Clint said yes not realizing it was Valentines Day Night.. I am sure all the restaurants will be packed and the movie theaters too. We have decided a night out even if we eat McDonald's will be fun!! I have no idea when the last time we got to go out on Valentines was?? High school maybe? So we are looking forward to going out tonight kid less!! Not sure what we will do, but I am sure we will find something!! Thanks Guys your the best!! Someday we will repay you with Free Babysitting.. Your not charging us right?? Ha!Ha!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Carter's 5th Bday at CoCo Key

Maxton 20mths

Well Monday night we finally finished up our round with the stomach flu Mallory and Mason came home from school and said they had stomach aches and laid around and didn't eat all eve. around 9:30p.m. they began to vomit(it was a huge mess). By yesterday afternoon they were eating crackers and trying to enjoy the BEAUTIFUL weather but still tired! They of course are back at school today because they didn't want to miss their Valentines Parties. It is a early release day due to conferences today, tom. and teacher work day Friday there is no school and also Monday Presidents day kinda of a mini vacation!! And the best parts are Daddy is off too and we should hopefully be done with the Stomach Flu for this week!!!

Yesterday I had a Dr. appt where we discussed what a Twin Pregnancy includes which I have to say I should just move into the Dr.'s office because after 24 weeks I will spend a lot of my time there.. Should be interesting especially always having kids in tow and after May 20th 5 of them. Hopefully the older ones will step up to the plate and really Help me out!! Time will tell now. We went over all the possible complications with this being twins,but I am not going to get into those as I am using positive thinking to get me through this pregnancy!! I did have an ultrasound which was fun to see Baby A kissing Baby B on the forehead got some pictures to show Clint and the kids. Their heart rates were Baby A 144 and Baby B 156 I have two babies(duh) two placenta's and two sacs which is what they say is a "perfect twin pregnancy" two of everything!! I see the high risk Dr. on Tues the 17th for a level 2 Growth Sono an will cont. to see him every 4 weeks for Growth Sono's as well as see my own OBGYN and get a sono there also.. It is a lot of info to take in, but it was so great to see them both on the screen yesterday so I know this will all be worth it in the end when I get to hold my beautiful babies!!

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Have I already told you I hate the....

There is one thing about motherhood/parenthood that I HATE and we have it at our house.. It is the nasty,disgusting,gross,horrible,heartbreaking STOMACH FLU!!! We came in contact with the nasty stuff last weekend and right after returning home Monday from my ultrasound finding out our big news Carter vomited at first I thought he just got car sick, but then two hours later he vomited again and then about every 15 mins for a few hours, then every hour until 4a.m. followed by diarrhea and a lifeless child for the next 12 hours, I think he finally ate some food Wed. night for supper.. Then next in line was Maxton who vomited in his bed. Wed night followed by diarrhea and sporadic vomiting still happening today?? Cavin got it Friday morning and was down until this a.m., I got it Friday night (It was awful) and then Clint got hit Sat. a.m. and was out until this a.m. Mallory and Mason have made it this far without any symptoms but I won't breathe a sigh of relief for them until late next week... After this whole thing I can't wait for it to be spring and have nice beautiful weather and NO illness!!! Keeping my fingers crossed that it comes sooner than later.. Now back to all the chores that come with having sick kids that need all my attention, a sick mom who can barely get out of bed, and lots and lots of blankets,towels and clothes to have puked washed out of them.. Clorox is getting alot of my business to day as my whole house is being disinfected...YUCK!!! Stomach flu be gone from my house!!!!

Thursday, February 5, 2009

This is not.....

Remember I am VERY Moody these days but there have been some people that have just rubbed me the wrong way with our news.. I mean come on this is not a disease, I am not dieing, or ill or anything like that I am PREGNANT and just so happen to be having two babies.. I don't need your sympathy, or to hear that pathetic tone in your voice when you call to congratulate me.. The thought that some people actually think that we did this on purpose is stupid? This is something we were blessed with.. I am really fine with this actually Clint and I are really excited about it.. I mean how many women get to experience this? Let me tell you from what I have read 8 out of 1000 women conceive natural twins (meaning without fertility drugs) so I consider myself/our family LUCKY. At this point my focus is on growing healthy fulltrem babies and getting through this pregnancy so that I have my babies here. I am not going to let anyone get me down I know Clint and I can do this and do it great, and plus I have enough to worry about not including what other people think. This has nothing to do with the WONDERFUL comments I got on yesterday's post they were all great!! If you want to pray for something pray for my babies to be healthy and fullterm, I am FINE really my post from yesterday may have been misleading and I apologize for that seriously everyone I am HAPPY and FINE!!!!! So please no sympathy this is nothing to be sad about be excited and happy like we are!!! There is my little vent for today...

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Yes We think it is...

So I really wasn't ready to put this out to everyone,but seems rumors/news travels fast in small towns.... So Clint and I found out this week that we are expecting TWINS. Since the beginning of this pregnancy I have thought something felt different. The morning sickness wasn't so bad but the exhaustion was extreme so bad that I could fall asleep at 9:30 a.m. after just waking up at 8a.m., i had some dreams, I gained ALOT of weight in the first 4 weeks, I was always hungry, and I began to feel movement at 10weeks 2days. I told my doctor about these things/worries and she just kept saying each pregnancy is different, each pregnancy you show faster your body just knows what it is suppose to do etc.. I hadn't told anyone about these things except for my doctor and it was kinda always a joke with Clint, but on Friday Jan.30th it became a HUGE reality to me as I lay down to listen to the babies heartbeat with a hospital quality fetal doppler I heard two very different heart rates one was in the high 160's and one was in the mid 140's. I called Clint crying and he assured me everything would be fine as long as the babies were healthy and so was I we would be fine, he reminded me that I am a GREAT Mother(thanks honey) and that if anyone could have 5 kids and 2 babies it was me!! It was a great pep talk!! My doctors office however thought I was crazy and would do nothing to check for me.. It was driving me nuts not knowing so a friend of a friend is a sono tech and had time Monday to take a look, as I lay there on the table with the 3 little boys in tow without Clint with my eye's closed I just looked at this lady and said please just tell me there is one and she said take a deep breath and look here is Baby A and here is Baby B.. I don't remember much after that except crying, someone else having to call Clint to tell him, and trying to talk to him but not being able to.. Needless to say I was in SHOCK even though I knew it.. Both babies look really good they are measuring right on and their heartbeats were in the 150's.. Clint and I know we are really lucky and blessed and we will be fine once we find a Bus(not funny really) to haul all of us around.. We are looking forward to this new adventure and to ending our family with a BANG!! There are a lot of things that are new to us with this, but we are trying to gather as much info as possible and just take time to let it sink in.. The kids all think it is great in fact Mallory said" it is fine mommy there will be one baby for you and one for me!!" So there it is straight out of the sources mouth we are indeed having TWINS and today very excited about it!!!