As the New Year approaches and I look back at where we were last year and how far we have come. What a different person I am. It amazes me. I amaze me. I love this little family of mine so much sometimes I can't breathe. Last year at this time we had to ask everyone have you been sick, we had to hold our breath when Maccoy got the sniffles, we didn't even go see Santa (but the kids they understood why and they were fine with that) I was still Angry, asking why?, blaming myself for my son's broken heart, so worried I could barely sleep, and when I did sleep it was cuddled up beside that beautiful boy listening to his every breath, Nobody could ever understand what having a sick baby is unless you have lived it yourself, every cardiology appt., every needle poke a reminder of what was coming when we didn't know but we new it was coming. It made Christmas presents seem not so important, but reminded us what the season was really about. I hope this year we have not forgotten what the season is really about, is it weird that watching my children drop money some their own birthday/Christmas money into the little red kettles makes me tear up? well it does. Today the anticipation of Santa coming is growing and I am enjoying that Oh so much. I love to hear Maxton talk about Santa at the North Pole and to hear him sing You Better watch out, Better not be bad, Santa is coming! His own version of Santa is Coming to town! I love to read their Santa letters. To get their sweet little gifts that they made me at school and see how excited they are to give them to me. My favorite part this year this far was Mason's I am Thankful for letter which says I am Thankful for my brothers and my sister because I always have somebody to play with, I love them all. Tears fell as I read that letter because that is what I always want for them to have each other.. I love my memories of Christmas as a child they are great but I think these memories of being a Mother to small children at Christmas time will be even better.. Off to make some Christmas Cookies!
Wishing Everyone a Very Merry Christmas and Wonderful New Year!!
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