Saturday, April 4, 2009

Life

(I didn't want to post this picture,lets remember TWINS and I have gained 25lbs and I am sure most of it has went straight to my A** but I wanted to show you I am not joking about the "belly" size ITS HUGE!!)


Life these days for me are hard. I am so frustrated with everything. I feel helpless and alone. I feel like my family has no clue what I am going through because most days I feel like they see me as the same person I was 4 months ago and I am not. I am easily irritated and I hate that but even though I am aware of it I can't stop it. I cry at the drop of a hat for No reason. But the main thing that is bothering me lately is the soreness of the belly, the huge,large,round BELLY that grows by the second. This is no joke. I swear I walk by the mirror look at the "belly" come back a few mins later look at the belly and it has gotten bigger. When your having a really bad day the last thing you want to hear is someone ask you when you are due and then for them to say "you look full term already". I know I have two babies in there but for pete sake I don't know how much more I can grow before my belly splits in half? I can't imagine what I will look like in another 13 weeks. It doesn't seem that long but then I look at the "belly" or I try to bend down to pick something up, or get up off the couch/floor and I think there is no way it can be another 13 weeks. Oh and the heartburn oh my word.. Let me tell you I have had heartburn with every kid but this is 10x worse.. It feels like my throat is on FIRE and then it moves down to my stomach makes me want to cry. I won't miss that at all. The cravings have kinda stoped except for popsicles those I still want all day everyday!!
What it all boils down to is I am already at a place in this pregnancy where I miss myself. I love being pregnant love,love,love it up until the last 2 weeks when you are absolutely so uncomfortable only I have 13 weeks left I am already there. I want to enjoy this last pregnancy but I am used to having a clean house,a schedule, supper on the table,park,picnics, fun outings etc.. but I am so tired,so fat and so uncomfortable I make it to about Wed. and all my energy is gone...
I have been called stubborn by my friends and my mother and in a way I am. So I will keep going,trying to stay positive,yelling a little at clint and the kids to pitch in and help,but for the most part doing it by myself. I will be fine and I will make it another 13 weeks!!!

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