Monday, September 27, 2010
Seems like lately in the broken heart community kids/babies have been having a real rough time. Of course when you have a child that has a mended heart that concerns you a little ( ok it freaks you the hell out) And as Maccoy's appt. approaches(wed) I am getting myself all worked up. I am watching Ewan's blog, reading Mason's blog, thinking of other heart moms who's children are having issues (Scarlet, Immanuel) and I am scared of what we might find out on Wed... You just never know and when your talking about someone who you LOVE more than life itself it is terrifying to think of the bad.. When we first found out about Maccoy I was glued to the computer looking for/seeking out anyone who had a Tetralogy baby/kid so I could find out what our road was going to be like and I have to say even though no 2 seem to be alike it was nice to have another person to talk to about this bumpy road. I am thankful for blog's and for facebook because I have found so many people like us and it is so helpful. Yet when things aren't going so well for everyone it tends to always remind you of the what ifs, the could have beens, the what you have already been through's and I think it makes these appts. a little harder. But I will never stop reading, or talking to other heart mom's because like it or not this is the life we were given and all the ups/downs and in betweens and we can't change it.
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I am right with you today. It seems like it has been a hard couple of weeks in the heart world and it scares me so much. It brings back memories and the tears flood my face as I think of all the little ones and their families and what they are going through right now. Hope just had her one year appointment and we are going 4 months without an appointment...that is the longest we have gone. I am relieved and also frightened having to go that long...especially during cold and flu season. You and Maccoy will be in my thoughts and prayers on Wednesday.
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