Maccoy April 2010
Dear Sweet Boy,
We are approaching your 1 year Mended Heart anniversary ( April 14th 2010) Maccoy ! Can you Believe it Baby? Mommy can't stop crying or praying honestly your Mommy is a mess. It's weird how all these feelings have come rushing back to me after all this time? I think I may have stored them away when we left the hospital and it took til now for them to surface. I feel such love for you not more than I do for the others just different I guess? I know sweet boy that you have went through far less than some other heart hero's but when it's your child it feels like the VERY worst thing EVER.. Yesterday I spent time looking back at the pictures from last April while holding you on my lap you would point and say baby and then look at me and smile as if you new it was you and you were proud of yourself amazed at what you have been through as if saying Mommy I did it and I am okay. Your daddy asked me last night if I thought that what you have been through has made you the baby you are? I think in some ways your heart has made you who you are because we probably treated you different (with good reason) I think not liking being held down does have something to do with all the pokes, the bp cuff's, o2 monitors, the endless echo's, that white coats make you scale mommy like a ladder, that stethoscopes coming at you make you Scream, so ya I do think your heart defect has changed you and made you who you are. You are amazing, smart, sweet, cute, cuddly, STRONG, Determined, funny, and all ours.. The next few days are going to be hard on Mommy but it's not because I am sad, the tears are from joy, pride,love and relief. Without Dr.OBrien, the staff at CMH and CMH Cardiology department you my sweetie wouldn't be in such a good place right now(more than likely you would be VERY sick) in fact we were told you wouldn't live much past your 2nd birthday without your repair. I am not quite sure how you thank someone for allowing your child to live a happy, "healthy" life?? I know this ride isn't over, we can't get off, it's one you especially will ride all your life, but right now you are in a okay place and who knows what the future holds medicine is an ever changing thing you never know what they may come up with next? No matter what Daddy and I are always right here fighting with you, for you! We LOVE you little Rock STAR!!!
xoxoxo
Mommy
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