Good News - Long Night

Last night was a emotional roller coaster... If you would have asked me on Tues what I thought was going to be hard about this whole process I would have said "When they take him from me in PreOp holding because I know what they are about to do to him" Then If you would have asked me on Wed. what I thought would be the hardest part of the whole process I would have said "Seeing him after surgery so lifeless and full of tubes" if you ask me this a.m. what has been the hardest part it wouldn't have been any of those things it would be the sound of pain/confusion/hurt in my son's weak cry after they took the breathing tube out at 11:30p.m. last night it was absolutely awful mostly because I didn't want him to be in pain and because I couldn't pick him up to comfort him I felt so helpless all I could do was stand over his crib and talk in his ear and rub his face but it did little to quiet those weak cries. Since being extubated he is doing WONDERFUL!! They have given him morphine once at around 3:45a.m. after which I helped the nurse bath him and then much to my surprise she said "do you want to hold him?" OMG of course I would love to if I won't be hurting him and so that's just what I got to do cuddle my sweet baby for almost 2hours and I can't tell you the feeling of absolute joy/love/pride I had flowing through me. My sweet baby son is an absolute ROCKSTAR! He is amazing me every hour with his strength! When she laid him in my arms the feeling was almost like I had just given birth and had a brand new baby laid in my arms for the first time I am on Cloud 9 right now!! The surgeon has been around already this a.m. and they are weaning him off of his blood pressure meds, taking out his pacemaker wires, and start getting rid of all these IV lines/tubes and moving us off the PICU onto the "regular" floor this afternoon((at least thats the plan we will see how it goes but we are hopeful)!! Look at HIM GO!!!! More later they are coming in to take some stuff out!! Things are looking good this hour!!